I’ve finally come to understand that I am a person who is simply not capable of loving anyone. In addition to that fact, I’ve also come to realize that I don’t need anyone to enrich my life nor do I have to have that amazing partner. I think that all this time I’ve been blinded by the media telling you that you need to have a partner in order to achieve happiness. That, coupled by the fact that people around me show off their boyfriends and girlfriends as fashion accessories did not further help my situation of questioning where my particular happiness was.

In other words, I was confusing happiness with love- love, which is something that no longer exists in my heart.

There are many people that I’ve come across during my short years here on earth and I’ve been thinking that this status- the status of being single actually isn’t half bad at all. You get to have your variety of people and then by the end of the day, you return to a space that you have created yourself. A space that cannot be disturbed because you used your two hands to build it.

What I’ve come to notice is that I still haven’t come across building a beautiful space that I can call my own. I still feel very unattractive in many ways and I have a long way in improving my physical appearance. Career-wise, while it would be quite difficult for me to change I think what I will do is simply try. I’ve already begun my self-reinvention by gathering a to-do list for things that I’d like to have done once I got back to NY. I won’t put pressure on myself to complete the list, but once again I will try.

I’d like to reinvent myself into a person who is on top of the world- a person whom I could perceive as simply stunning.